Cheers to the good days

Literally just bent down in the middle of the road in my estate for 5 mins just catching breath that I'm not losing.

Yep! That was me 3 hours ago.

Today was not hectic, no. There were no triggers either. No, that wasn't panic attack either. Did I hear you think stress? No, not that either.

I don't know what happened. This newsletter is not even to therapize you by projecting myself and assuming you probably have felt it before.

However, one thing bothered me tho. I wanted to stay away from people.

The guys came around today, Tribbe Zero, the originals. We talked about stuff that you'd eventually come to know, but asides that, it was fun.

I got to finally see Stark again—it's been so long—Timilehin too. The usuals came around, Akin and Kilani.

So, no, it wasn't them. I was fagged out before they came—weak even—but the cause was stronger. It was all that mattered, and after the chat, they left with me unwillingly escorting them quite a journey from my estate.

"Bye", I waved them off in my head.

I started the lonely journey back home. This is the part I hate the most about people visiting me.

A few hundred steps into my estate and I paused, looked around and crouched.

I was weak, and it wasn't physically nor mentally. I stayed there a few minutes and continued walking to my house.

Then I stayed outside my corridor for another hour.

It's pretty easy to be secluded when all is down, inexplainable and bleak. You want to stay away from people mostly because you don't have answers to the questions they'll ask.

I understand—totally.

But—and this is a massive self-sub—some people shouldn't be pushed away.

You are allowed to push every other person away. I don't care, but don't see someone who's always cared hard for you and categorize them with the others.

While it's your journey, sometimes it is okay to let people carry you.

Like this dialogue in Raya and the Last Dragon,

Raya: The world’s broken. You can’t trust anyone. ​Sisu: Maybe it’s broken because you don’t trust anyone. You just have to take the first step.

I'm fine now tho—thanks to the amazing people who reached out and called . . . and found trouble [she's reading this right now].

To the one whose art made me smile, thank you—also kickstarting my art collection journey.

So, try trust the friends you call friends.

You have nothing to lose, except the trust if things go south.

Ciao.

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