Own your bias

Hey Praise,

There's something particularly incredible about TechAdvance, my company. I'll talk about it someday.

This is the third one today, and somehow, I am writing this with no idea what tomorrow would bring. Sigh.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

-Matthew 6:34

Tonight, let's talk about you. Yes, you, Praise.

How many times have you had to apologise for your preferences? Huh? How many times have you had to say "sorry" because you didn't like something [or someone]? How many?

I have had to apologise many times until quite recently, about a year ago and I didn't quite understand how to articulate it until this morning when Chimamanda said–

"Do not apologise for your likes and dislikes"

Don't and before I tell you why, allow me share this with you for a second. You might not like Dave Chappelle [I like him tho], but I completely agree with him when he said–

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they say or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

He also said, another time, that—

"Everyone is damn too sensitive these days"

We are always looking for nuance—trying to be politically correct about our opinions, neither here nor there. We always are looking for the sweet spot, for the greater good.

Newsflash—someone, somewhere will get offended. Twitter is a clear example of this. You can't like something, you can't dislike it either. Someone is trying to drag you on either side.

You know what? Don't give a fuck!

When you do not like something, it removes nothing from that object. It simply affords you context to focus on what you like.

For example, I do not like Beyonce music. I do not agree with the concept of transgenders. I am incredibly indifferent about gayism. I'm not a complete fan of socialism. I am numb to Nigeria. I do not like "thicc" ladies, they're not my type and would like not date them.

Yet, I like Beyonce [as a human/brand]. I do not hate transgenders. I have gay friends. I'm open to economic development, socialism or not. Nigeria can get better. I do not hate or fat-shame "thicc" ladies.

They're simply choices of mine that allow me to wade through the many options I have on my table. I can't take all, it is illogical.

So, don't apologise for not liking books or watching movies or going out. You don't like it, stick with it. Don't apologise for not knowing something. Don't apologise for something you made a personal choice about.

Your opinions are yours. Share them with empathy, not nuance.

Think "how'd people who don't like me tell me in a way that wouldn't 'debase' me?" Then reverse engineer it for the public.

You don't like a dress? Fine! You do not. Someone else does! If your opinion can be valid, his can too. Don't cancel, don't apologise for yours either.

When you understand that your likes and dislikes should be for your consumption and benefit, you'd stop trying to please everyone with them.

That being said, I do not like KFC and McDonalds. Sigh, it makes me cringe. I do not like Messi, I prefer Ronaldo more. I dislike Windows. I am not a fan of a bunch of your Twitter influencers.

I was hoping to remember a lot more.

To end this, I'll paraphrase one of my favourite lines from my notes:

"Do not put yourself in any position that doubts your self-esteem"

Good night!

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