Your search for meaning

Every once in a while, you are going to ask yourself one question — "why am I doing this?"

The matter isn't nearly as interesting as what I am about to tell you this morning. For comfort, it is 6:30 AM today as I write this. This is not a pre scheduled post; not that any of my letters are, except a few.

In corporate work, it gets really easy to think in numbers, and numbers only. And don't get twisted, tech is corporate work. So you're probably in this mud too — and I don't intend to drag you through it. You attend a meeting and they tattle about how much the bottomline should matter to you. You may even have heard the business truth that "cashflow is what keeps a business alive".

They are not wrong. There is no shred of dishonesty in that school of thought. It is a perspective that is both logical and analytical, and it is why it extends into our personal lives.

If it doesn't pay the bills, then it's not worth your time. Passion doesn't put food on the table. Yada yada yada.

Coincidentally, through this rat race of paying bills and sustaining a lifestyle (not necessarily an expensive one), there is this deep search for meaning. You probably know this. I do.

One day, you lie down and think, "what's all this for?" You don't have money. You're broke. You don't have any debtor owing you; maybe you even have debts to pay. You just took your last meal, or you haven't eaten for a while.

And somehow, in this absence of "bottomline", the question you ask yourself is "why am I doing this?"

It is such an inexpensive question to ask; and it needs no budget to receive an answer. Yet, a lot of us have no genuine answer. Don't get me wrong, you probably have an answer. I bet you are a creator. Your job demands you to create things from thin air.

But every time you blurt out those words, you feel the void in your heart — the numbing sensation you get when you conscience pricks you. The lack of honesty in your response is why you think questions like that do not matter in corporate work.

I know.

It is hard. And scary as it may seem, money isn't all there is to life. It's a great stop gap, but there's a reason why the one thing akin to both the rich and poor is the search for meaning.

I guess one way to look at it is to think asking "why" means finding a reason or creating a vision or setting up a journey. And maybe it is why your answers are never genuine. It is not because you intended it so; they are just unreachable — something far off and abstract; a wish you found on TV or in a documentary.

But if you thought about "why" as a search for meaning — something encompassing of now and then; something that reduces money to its rightful place as a reward — maybe it might become easy.

I have always thought asking "why" was a tough question — cheap but tough. It opens so many possibilities and presents room for uncertainty. In my experience of asking "why", I have listened to people conjure up lies about themselves. I watched people paint a world they didn't believe in. I even sat on the sidelines watching myself hang on a thread that I called my "why".

In fact, people think as long as their answers start with "because", everything is fine.

So, I stopped asking "why" directly. Because frankly, no one knows why. A lot of things you do is gut, instinct and insha'Allah.

I started asking "what does this mean to you?" "What is its value to you?"

Replace "this" with anything and it forces you to think of your actions, not your wishes.

What does design mean to you? What does writing mean to you? What does being a designer mean to you? What does your company mean to you? What does your girlfriend, wife, religion, family, career, education, friend mean to you? What does money mean to you?

If they mean something, then they are worth it — now and forever. Nothing is worth it if it has no meaning, including money.

And if you find an answer to that, you've found your why.

Meaning is what makes man a being. It is the fuel that keeps them going. The day it is snuffed out is the day he dies.

So, Praise, what does it mean to you?

Ciao.

PS: This didn't read so rhythmical ... but it's what I wanted to share with you today. Looking forward to your answers (and if you ask me, I may tell you mine).

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